Youtube: so we’ve managed to show only 117k views for trumps speech.
CNN: that’s still way too much.
Podesta: anyone seen my pasta sauce? I think it was cheese with nuts but he might be dead by now.
Soros: oh well
Google: I can crash the servers of the universe!
Huffington Post: yeah but then no one will read our dogshit reporting.
New York Times: It is dogshit. We lie so much better than you do.
CIA: I’ve seen better. (laughter)
Obama: Anyway, uh, would anyone like to go golfing at Mar-a-Lago? I’m just saying, it’s a really nice course.
Hillary: I hate you so much right now.