In the last few weeks, the US and the coalition of allied nations has been rapidly defeating ISIS, AKA the Islamic state in the two key battleground countries of Syria and Iraq.

They’re beaten, bloodied, desperate; their recruitment has tanked, their fighting positions and bomb factories are being destroyed; the new soldiers complain of back pain and make silly excuses to go home.

What good news! You’d think CNN and the New York Times would jump all over this opportunity to patriotically rally the country behind a new bright era of rapid-fire military victories, but they haven’t. You’d also think they’d want to celebrate the incredible genius-effectiveness of our new star-spangled SecDef James “Mad Dog” Mattis, but no they haven’t. They’re a little busy being gender-neutral about the issue.

“US military victory is toxic masculinity and nothing to be proud of,” said a senior New York Times whatever.

Rest assured that, although the mainstream media is too pre-occupied being political whores and indulging their guilty pleasures of virtue-signaling, they cannot stop the absolute and total destruction of ISIS taking place as I write this. Its wonderful! Oh, my blood just feels so red white and blue right now, and flowing with the fifty shining stars of America!

CNN is right to lament poor crippled broken defeated ISIS, for they have had a pretty rough couple of weeks. For example, all of this happened to them just YESTERDAY:

Strikes in Syria destroyed three oil pump jack, nine oil tanker trucks, damaged an oil wellhead, destroyed 13 fighting positions, a tactical vehicle and an ISIS headquarters, damaged three supply routes and a bridge.

Meanwhile, Strikes in Iraq destroyed four watercraft, four front-end loaders, a mortar system, damaged 12 supply routes, suppressed eight ISIS mortar teams and destroyed an ISIS fighting position.

Ouch. And just a few days before that, ISIS was hit with an Iraqi Air strike that killed 13 of their especially handsome and important murderer-commanders. #sorrynotsorry

Praise god for our allies. And praise god for the new SecDef, Our Patron Saint of Chaos Mad Dog Mattis, a truly legendary military officer; a general who exhaustively reads the work of other generals, who has renounced any normal life of safety and comfort for the dark, sandy battlefield eternal. War has been his entire life, all his considerable energy is tilted into it. ISIS stands exactly a 0% chance against Mattis. He is probably the very best warfighter on the planet, and President Trump just gave him a Pentagon for Christmas.

Bye ISIS. ❤